** I meant to post this back on 1 April, but somehow neglected to do so. Here it is now, if a little tardy. **
I’m feeling restless. This isn’t a new feeling for me. Not even close. It circles around at least once a year like a little satellite—consistent, reliable. This is the time of year it comes home to roost. Or, rather it comes home to try to shake me from mine.
It’s not surprising that I’d take notice most intently today, either. The Moon is in Sagittarius right now, planetary ruler of the Traveler.
While this restlessness is a familiar friend, I am having trouble greeting it this visit with my usual open and loving arms. On the one hand, this is now officially year 2 of a global pandemic that has rendered most of the world static and rooted, whether they want to be or no. But, on the other hand, I feel like I have just created a new nest for myself here in Asheville, and am feeling the need to call some place Home for a while. I’ve essentially been drifting, untethered, for all intents and purposes, since I set out for Hawaii in September of 2016.
What a long, strange trip these past 4+ years turned out to be.
This restlessness affects me in a number of ways. With a North Node in Sagittarius, I am awash with the Wanderlust. It stirs in me deeply and intensely. The specifics of what it looks like shifts and evolves, but it never diminishes. At present, I am happy establishing these roots here. I am ready for the security of a home base and all that comes with it. But my feet are still itchy for the open road. I long to see different horizons, experience different cultures, explore different landscapes and climates.
But the restlessness also invites me (forces me?) to question everything I’m doing in my life. It’s as if I’m being tested for complacency, and anywhere it shows up in these exams, I lose marks. It is at this time that I am asked to look my Soul in the [proverbial] eyes to see how well I’m following Her plan. Anywhere there is complacency, there is a nudge to make some course-corrections. I don’t know how this deep personal inventory process goes for you, but it is hella uncomfortable (okay … and crazy beautiful and necessary) for me.
When Restlessness comes to call, I am also made glaringly aware of my current state of connection—with the world, with family/friends/lovers and with my Self. The older I get the higher I score on the latter spoke and the lower on the first two. And while I’m proud of the honest and loving relationship I’ve cultivated with my Self, I find I am increasingly fearful of how often I am feeling lonely. (This is not to be confused with being alone. Being alone is a wonderful and necessary part of my life. Being lonely, however, sucks.) I know I have much Shadowcraft to do around relationships, and the Restlessness is a very blunt reminder to get started already.
I often wonder how I can contain so much feeling in this one small human body. It’s like there’s an enormous monsoon of emotion roiling and churning and twisting and turning and reaching and growing to the point it feels like I might explode into a million little bits of stardust at any moment.
But, I haven’t done that yet. For now, anyway, I’m still intact in this small human body. And I must trust that I have the tools I need to transform this monsoon into bliss. That’s what my gift is, after all: I am a conduit here to show the way to that kind of personal alchemy that comes from diving into the discomfort of the Shadow and merging with it in Holy Union. This is what turns it into gold, baby.
So, I will, once again, receive Restlessness when She comes to call. I will accept Her gifts, and use them to create a more beautiful life. And I will be richer for it. And so will the world.
There’s a card in the Tarot known as the Tower. It’s usually the sixteenth card in the Major Arcana. The classic imagery is of a, well, tower, that has been struck by lightning to its total destruction. There are sometimes images of people falling from the tower to their demise, too. It’s a pretty intense card.
image courtesy of pinterest
Here’s what Aeclectic.net has to say about the Tower card:
In a moment, it is over. The Tower is rubble, only rocks remaining. Stunned and shaken to the core, the Fool experiences profound fear and disbelief. But also, a strange clarity of vision, as if his inner eye has finally opened. He tore down his resistance to change and sacrifice (Hanged man), then came to terms with Death (Death); he learned about moderation and synthesis (Temperance) and about power (The Devil). But here and now, he has done what was hardest: he destroyed the lies of his life. What’s left are the foundations of truth. On this he can rebuild himself.
Many people read the Tower card as negative, and fear it’s presence in a spread. I, however, almost always see it as a good thing. For most of my readings, the Tower card tells about a complete breaking down of the foundational beliefs and perceived truths upon which we once built our lives, making space for the rebuilding of new truths and ideas that more accurately reflect the evolved person we have become. It’s sort of like the old Etch-A-Sketch toys that erase everything previously drawn when you shake them up a bit.
I bring this up here, because I am currently living the Tower card. Fair warning: This post is going to be raw and real. There will be no sugar-coating here. If you have no interest in reading about the intimate details of the lives of others, you may want to click over to a site featuring kitten memes, or whatever you’re into.
I am not exactly sure when the lightning bolt actually struck my tower. Well, that’s not entirely true, if I really think about it. Perhaps it would be best to say that my tower has been sustaining some pretty potent damage over the past couple years.
My time at Kanekiki Farm on the Big Island of Hawaii was definitely instrumental in creating some cracks in the foundations. I experienced an entirely different way of being in the world while I was there. I was fully submersed in a supportive, cooperative community. I was encouraged to, and given the resources to, take a long, hard look at how I was living my life, how I was connecting with others, and how I was sharing myself with the world. On the farm, our foods were raw, our emotions were raw, and our interactions were raw. It was simultaneously glorious and heartbreaking, terrifying and exciting. And my experiences there really ignited a spark of new awareness deep within me.
After Kanekiki, I spent the rest of the year traveling the globe, sometimes with a companion, but mostly solo. With every new country visited, I felt new shifts in my foundations, new cracks in my walls. I found myself hastily patching rents where I could, but my heart wasn’t really in it. This was simply the reflexive response to the fear brought on by the drafts from these chinks in my shelter.
Instead of feeling the freedom I was craving, I found myself feeling more and more trapped. I was living in the most stunning exotic locations, and all I could focus on was how miserable I was feeling. I would be surrounded by new people, new opportunities, new experiences, and instead of reveling in it, as I had expected to, I found myself shrinking in a mindset of lack, of loneliness, of fear.
Oh, the shame of it all! Shame of feeling these dark and heavy feelings in these light and beautiful places weighed down on me. It was so heavy and so brutish that it began to shake the walls of my tower of identity, leaving me with real concerns about whether or not I could sustain it all.
There was a brief reprieve when my sister joined me in Greece for her birthday. But soon that came to an end, and, with it, my time of wandering the world. Things just got shakier after that.
I returned to the States with no real plan, no money, and no idea what to do. I knew I had changed so profoundly since leaving my home for Hawaii all those months ago, but I hadn’t really had time to process who I had become or, rather, who I was still becoming. I was lost, but I took refuge in my tower. It might not be as sturdy as it once was, but it was familiar, and that felt safe.
After several months of questioning, wallowing, and job-hunting, I finally decided to start my new life in Austin. I arrived with a job, but no place to live, and still no money. But I was feeling determined to make it work. I spent three months living in my compact sedan. I kept telling myself that it was an awesome adventure, but when I got really honest with myself, I was met with embarrassment, discomfort, a strong sense of failure, and yet more shame. I didn’t choose to live like this. I was living in my car because I couldn’t afford to live anywhere else.
How could I be living like this at my age? What’s wrong with me? I have no house, no partner, no kids, no community, and no clue. Why can’t I get my life together?
This, I believe, was the final lightning strike that collapsed my already shaky tower. It kindled that inner spark born at Kanekiki, and the whole thing went up in flames and came down in a tumble of stones and bones.
Knee-deep in rubble, I realized that I have been living my life half asleep for a very long time. I have been operating from a place of knowing what I didn’t want, but having no idea what I did want. I will never be able to cultivate a life that makes me happy until I understand what it is that will make me happy. Out of the debris of all the challenging experiences during my journey, I was able to start piecing together a new picture of what I want my life to look and feel like. I began to have a clearer understanding of what I want. And in that moment, I began the slow and steady process of rebuilding my tower.
I’ve made some progress, but, as with any construction gig, there have been setbacks. And I really have no clear idea when my completion date will actually be. I’m still undergoing some pretty intense moments of destruction, too. It’s like I’m now in the dance of one step forward, two steps back.
Once in Austin, work was slow to start, but with just a little time, I built a strong base of wonderful and loyal clients. (Add a new layer of bricks and mortar!) This allowed me to find a better living situation. I still didn’t have a ton of money, and Austin is a crazy expensive city, but I was lucky enough to find a room for rent in a home in one of my favorite neighborhoods. It was in walking distance to a grocery store, to my job, to downtown, and to a free public natural springs swimming pool. It was unbelievably cheap, too. (Yes! Add a brick, please!) I would be living with two other folks around my age – an artist and a yoga instructor/musician. (Awesome! Another brick!) It sounded amazing. I was so grateful to be out of the car, and into a proper house. But I soon realized that, while the price and location were perfect, the living situation was not. One housemate was great, but the other, the one who was there all the time, was very, let’s just say, difficult. I was doing my best to hold space for him, to send him love as a fellow human being who was doing his best in this world. But, I was sitting in a pile of rubble, man! I just didn’t have the internal resources to manage that crap. So, my fledging foundation took another hit.
Then I decided to move to Asheville, to be close to my sister and her new baby. Meeting my niece for the first time really filled me with love and provided some unexpected clarity. Moving here, and seeing her nearly everyday, continues to do so. More bricks in the walls! Hooray!
But, my new job, which seemed so bright and shiny before I moved, is starting much slower than I’d hoped. And no one working there is ever as busy as I was at my job in Austin. This concerns me. Potential damage could come of this, though I’m trying my darnedest to stay positive.
Another wrecking ball came to tear down some of the new building when my car, Gertie, finally gave up the ghost. So, now I have no car, a job that has yet to convince me it will pay my bills, and no second job – as my second job was as a delivery driver … which kinda requires a car. (More rubble.)
Luckily, my sister has offered to share her car with me, so all is not lost. (And … add a few more bricks, thank you!)
But, still, here I sit in a construction site of a life that looks like it’s being overseen by Animal from the Muppets. My life is a mess. Nothing is certain. I can’t read my blueprints because I’ve been crying. A lot.
But this is what happens when we are letting go of old limiting beliefs, old structures of identity and old paradigms of perceived truth. Those old thoughts and behaviors fight back. We have to struggle with them a bit in order to get them to release. Sometimes it might seem like they are winning, and this is when the tower begins to falter. But other times we can subdue them and make some real progress in the reconstruction of this new tower, this new life, this new identity.
[Your Ego, aka. your old limiting belief system] will do everything it can to stop you from changing and growing, especially since you’re attempting to obliterate the very identity that you and everyone else has come to know as “you”. Growth ain’t for weenies, but it’s nowhere near as painful as living the life you’re living right now if you’re not really going for it.
I’m determined to stay with this rebuild as long as it takes, but I sure do hope there’s more progress than regress from here on out. I’m using my Summer of Reinvention to experiment with new practices and routines that will help me to be more productive, more actively engaged, and more blissful (of course!) in my life. I’m feeling really hopeful. And I am feeling some momentum. And that feels good.
Have you ever had an experience in which everything you held to be fundamentally true about your self/life completely fell apart? If so, please feel welcomed to share your experience, and/or what tools you used in your rebuild. I’d love to hear from you and connect over this shared experience!
Thanks for taking the time to make it all the way to the end of this long and confessional post. I am so grateful for you!
I know that there are more popular topics in the world right now .. like, say, the election of the office of President of the United States, the continuation of war and strife across the planet, the atrocities human beings can inflict upon other sentient beings and even their (our) own habitat thanks to their (our) pesky lack of foresight, the upcoming holiday season … but right now, my focus lies elsewhere. Right now my focus is on my own present experience. And my own present experience finds me getting naked in Hawaii.
This nakedness I speak of is both of a literal (read: physical) nature and of a metaphorical type.
Let me begin by stating that I am currently living in the Puna region of the big island of Hawaii. This is probably the most … let’s say … bohemian region of the island state. Most of us living here are off-grid, meaning that we use alternative forms of power, usually solar, and we are very conservative with what power and water we use. It’s quite normal for the residents here to rise and set with the sun, to use composting toilets (or the land, itself) to eliminate our physical wastes, and to frolic in as naked a state as we comfortably can. Suffice it to say, this is a spectacular place to shed one’s unnecessary layers.
Secondly, let me add that I am living in an intentional community here in Puna. This community, known as Kanekiki, is one focused around a raw foods diet and Non-Violent Communication.
For those of you who have never pursued a raw foods diet, it should be clarified that raw foods lead to raw emotions. When one eats nothing but fruits and vegetables in their natural state (with some few nuts and seeds), then one begins to come face to face with one’s own emotions in their natural state. There is no dulling uncomfortable or challenging feelings with a tub of ice cream, a vat of chocolate sauce or a fifth of tequila. We have no way of stuffing those feelings back down into the nether regions of our Selves, instead we must just *gasp!* feel those feelings, and do our best to navigate them as gracefully and/or authentically as possible. It gets pretty intense, that, sometimes. No more covering up these expressions and feelings … I’m stripping them naked and letting them run around flying their freak flags until they have been so fully expressed that they dissolve into absolute healing bliss.
I wrote a bit about Non-Violent Communication in my last post. (Check it out here.) And since that writing I have had, if I’m not mistaken, a total of at least eight NVC exchanges with people in my community. Some of them have been mildly challenging, but overall pleasant discussions, and others have been deeply emotional, gut-wrenching, tear-jerking, exhausting, heart-breaking clashes. And I am grateful for each and every one. I am learning so much about my Self, my Needs and my Feelings and how to better communicate with each and every instance of discord. With each exchange I am given the opportunity to remove yet another layer of my defense mechanisms. I am getting more and more naked with each opportunity to practice this new language, and it is liberating.
With all of this emotional unveiling happening, my body has expressed an interest in getting in on that action, too. And its prayers have been answered in the form of one of Hawaii’s greatest treasures: the clothing optional beach. Kehena is a black sand beach not too far from the farm where one can simultaneously shimmy out of one’s swimsuit and one’s inhibitions. And because people have been getting naked here for time immemorial, there’s no stigma to it, no spectacle. It’s totally Natural, and no one really turns an eye to the extra few inches of flesh being exposed. Sure, it can make navigating the rocky entrance to and exit from the oft turbulent sea a bit trickier, but the freedom of feeling the sun, salt and surf against my naked skin is so very worth it. And every time I shed my clothes I feel my connection with Nature deepening. I feel like every naked romp gets me closer to being my most Authentic Self. And that makes me want to get naked even more often.
And so it goes, and my defenses begin to fall away, slowly and steadily, and I begin to get to know my Self even better than I ever dreamed I could, and I begin to see the Divine Light inside of me growing more brilliant with each breath. And I feel beautiful in all this nakedness. Mahalo, Hawaii. Mahalo, Pele. Mahalo, brave Self.
Hello lovelies! Many apologies for all the radio silence, but I’ve just been working too hard and having too much fun to get to write much. I’ll work on it …
So far, my time here on Kanekiki Farm has been a dream. I feel so at home here. The farm is beautiful. The food is delicious. The people are so warm and welcoming. It’s everything I was hoping for and more.
Every weekday, I get up at 5:00a for my chiropractic exercises and some yoga asana practice. By 7:00a, on weekdays, it’s off to work on whatever patch of the farm needs working for the day. It’s hard manual labor, usually, but I am loving it and my body is feeling vital and strong and supple for the effort. My work shift ends at 11:00a. Then it’s shower and lunch and whatever fun mischief can be found for the rest of the day. Sometimes that means joining my all-girl-bike-gang for a pedal to some swimming hole or other. Sometimes it’s a jaunt into town for a swim at the public pool or some shopping. Sometimes it’s just chilling in the hut or the community room with new friends who are fast becoming family. Whatever it is, it’s usually a blast. Bedtime comes early when you’re living off-the-grid, so I’m usually in bed in the hut by 7:00-7:30p.
On Monday evenings, we have an optional gathering called Meeting of the Masters. It’s an opportunity to do some self-exploration in the safety and support of a caring group of friends. On Thursday evenings, there’s another optional gathering called Speak Easy. The focus at these meetings is to get to know each other better by asking questions and bonding over chapters of our life stories. I regularly attend both meetings and I feel like I’m growing and connecting in so many beautiful ways because of it.
Occasionally, there’ll be opportunities for special adventures. For instance, tonight, we are being taken by Douglas, a friend of the farm and all-around fascinating dude, to watch the sun rise over the lava flows. Afterwards, we’ll go to the beach for a bit and then to ecstatic dance where we will shake off the sleepies to our hearts’ content. I’m super excited, and can’t wait to report back to you on that.
I’m really feeling like I have landed in a very special wonderland here in Hawaii. I am grateful to all of you for your support as I ride the waves of this adventure. Mahalo and aloha!
xoxo,
Melanie
PS: Here’s the address for those of you who are interested in writing me letters while I’m here:
I did it! I’m in Hawaii! For at least the next four months I’ll be living and working and frolicking on Kanekiki Farm on the big island of Hawaii.
I arrived late Friday night after 9:30p, but, despite the late hour, was immediately made to feel so welcomed and included by the others residents. It was awesome … like coming home. (Which is not super surprising considering the astrology reading I got for my birthday earlier this year indicated the Hawaiian Islands were likely to give me a feeling of Home.)
So far, I’ve still been settling in and getting to know the ropes, the people, the animals, and the fruit … the gorgeous, gorgeous fruit. This is the ideal place for me to be whilst completing my transition to fruitarianism. I’ve got all the support and raw materials (pun intended) I need to help me through the last hurdles.
Tuesday will be my first full work day. I’m doing a work exchange here, so I’ll be doing four hours of manual labor on the farm every weekday. I am pretty sure the first week(s) are going to kick my butt, but I’m good with that. My butt could use some good kicking. This morning I was feeling really proud of myself for getting up early and doing my morning calisthenics plus some yoga asanas. I’m really hoping this time here will help me reconnect with my yoga practice. I’ve been feeling so much resistance to it for so long now. Add to that the physical discomforts I’ve been dealing with while learning how to use my abdominals efficiently for the first time ever, and it’s no wonder that my practice has been such a big hit to my ego and my pain threshold that I have been avoiding it like the plague. My goal is to start nice and small and focus on consistency. It’s like I always say: Slow and steady wins the race. (I am part of the Turtle Tribe, after all.)
I’ll try to keep you all updated on all the exciting adventures and goings on while I’m here, so check back regularly to get the goods.
To all my friends and family back home (and elsewhere): I miss you all and love you dearly. Please keep in touch often. And to anyone who might be worried for me, please know that my heart is so full right now. Let that put your fears at ease.
Sending love and light and adventures to you all on the backs of these sultry trade winds …
The journey has begun. (Though, if you want to get technical it really began long ago.) I am writing this in LA where a friend has so kindly offered me a bed and a quick tour during my layover. (Thank you, Michael!) Later today I fly on to Hawaii to begin yet another new chapter in the story of me. So many emotions. So much physical stress trying to process and manage those emotions. So much potential.
It’s gettin’ real, y’all. And it’s gonna be juicy and delicious. I can’t wait to share it with you. xoxo!
Hello Beautiful People! I am so pleased to be sharing some amazingly good news with you today.
I’M GOING TO HAWAII!!!
I have been accepted to a work exchange program at Kanekiki Farm on the Big Island of Hawaii! I’ll be there from September through the end of the year. As you might imagine, I am over the moon about this new adventure!
Kanekiki Farm is a working farm and intentional community that has been growing for six years. The community consists of a handful of full-timers and a continuous rotation of volunteers, interns, and guests. My favorite thing about the Kanekiki community, and the primary reason I chose to apply for the program, is that they are an 80/10/10 community.
If you have been reading this blog for a while, you mat remember me writing about 80/10/10 before. It’s also sometimes referred to as Low Fat High Carb Raw Vegan. It’s a diet and lifestyle practice that centers around achieving optimal health through getting as close to Nature as possible. (If you’re interested in learning more about 80/10/10, check out The 80/10/10 Diet book by Dr. Douglas Graham. It’s a very informative and enjoyable read.)
My hope is that while I am at the farm, I will be able to not only give of my Self to this amazing community, but that I will also gain some much needed support to help bring my long transition to this lifestyle to full completion. I am open to whatever happens, but, at present, this is my hope. It’s also going to be an awesome adventure doing something new in a place I’ve never been. It scares me as much as it excites me, so I know I’m on the right track!
This opportunity came to me as I was taking steps to once again get more minimalist in my life. After the Big Purge of several years ago – when I sold most of my belongings as well as my house, and, eventually, my car, too – I have managed, like many people, to amass a collection of stuff I don’t really need.
In an effort to further my minimalist intentions AND to help fund my Hawaiian adventure, I am hosting a yard sale/fundraiser event this weekend. Part 1 is on Saturday afternoon and Part 2 is on Sunday morning. If you’re in Durham and are interested in getting some gently used treasures for yourself or your loved ones at bargain prices, or if you just want to stop by to say hello, please feel encouraged to do so! I’d love to see you!
I hope you are all having a beautiful Spring, and are taking good care of your Selves.
Here are some photos from the trip I wrote about in the last entry. Go here if you missed it, and would like to read it now. Enjoy!
The historic district of Cookeville. Historic districts are always my favorite parts of town. They are charming and lovely nuclei retaining the integrity of their origins within the encroachment of box-store-overdevelopment.
Fun graffiti in Cookeville.
The All Natural Farmers Market was small, but wonderful. There were gorgeous arrangements of organic produce on offer, handmade crafts, breads, and other goods as well as heaters stationed intermittently to keep shoppers warm and comfortable. I spent some time chatting with the proprietress of Waters Farm. They had a lovely rustic booth display of some really beautiful produce. If you ever find yourself in or near Cookeville, TN, I strongly suggest you get your hands on some of this farm’s goods, and your arse to this market!
While the photos do NOT do this place justice, these are a few from the Rock Island State Park trail that we hiked. This is such an amazing Park, with so much life and vitality coursing through it. I strongly recommend you plan a trip here immediately.
This past weekend I took a trip to Tennessee to visit a friend. I’d been looking forward to it since November. Originally I was supposed to go in December, but scheduling conflicts bumped it to January. It worked out well, though, because my friend had secured a new apartment and gotten settled in before my arrival.
The whole trip was a bit of a whirlwind, as I only had a three-day-weekend to make it all happen. Ironically, while most of the US had Monday’s celebration of Martin Luther King, Jr. Day to extend their weekends, I had my usual Friday-Sunday off before I had to be back to work on the holiday. The good news there meant that I was missing most of the holiday traffic, and all my driving, while tiresome, was pretty easy.
I left Thursday afternoon, after work, and stopped over in Asheville for the night to visit Sister and Brother-In-Law. They were late getting in [from their date night], so I only got to visit with them a short while, but it’s still nice to see them and to spend even a little time in Asheville. It was also nice to break up the driving a bit. (Asheville is the halfway point between Durham and Cookeville, Tennessee.)
Friday morning I set out nice and early so I’d arrive in Tennessee with most of the day still ahead of me. It was such a treat to see my friend. She left Durham almost a year ago. Aside from being my friend, she was also my [brilliant!] acupuncturist, so the loss was doubly hard. We spent some time catching up in her home before we had to pick up her grandmother from an appointment. Then I had the fortune of tagging along as my friend transported her grandmother to her home in Red Boiling Springs, which is about an hour away from Cookeville. Red Boiling Springs is a rural area, so you can likely imagine how beautiful it is. Lots of grass and trees and ponds and rivers and animals and sky … Hills in the foreground, mountains looming further along the horizon. Tennessee is really a state with rich and beautiful landscapes. My friend’s grandmother lives on a wide expanse of acreage in a charming log home she built with her late husband. I got to walk the perimeters of the main ‘yard’, and, let me tell you, it was gorgeous. I could certainly see how one might never want to leave such beauty and tranquility.
But … Leave, we did. Back in Cookeville we took a walking tour of downtown, enjoyed a delicious dinner at the local pub, and then shared some more conversation before turning in.
Saturday was, if it was even possible, more exciting than Friday. Saturday, my friend took me to Rock Island State Park.
But … Before that, we took another walking tour of Cookeville, where I got to see the all-organic farmers’ market, and my friend’s favorite coffee shop. The market was really sweet with some gorgeous produce awaiting the brave shoppers who came out in the below-freezing cold.
Okay, back to the State Park! We went to hike one the most beautiful trails I think I’ve ever seen. The start and finish of the trail treats hikers to gorgeous, massive waterfalls on the far side of the Caney Fork River. The river, itself, is a beautiful jade green serpent winding alongside the trail, and plays host to a variety of wildlife. (We got to see a blue heron, some ducks, several kayakers, and more on our hike.) The trail winds through beautiful woods dotted with occasional, smaller waterfalls, and blanketed with many different varieties of trees, mosses, mushrooms and other florae. It was so lovely and vital and peaceful. I am never happier than when I’m in the woods, and this was a perfect way for me to spend the afternoon with my friend … And her sweet little dog, Bowie.
Later that day, my friend asked me if I’d like to do a trade for services, which I had not been expecting at all, so it was an awesome treat! We spent the rest of the day with her getting a massage and me getting an acupuncture treatment. Aaaaahhhh. Bliss.
Finally, we made some food, listened to more records, and talked into the evening.
I had to leave early Sunday, which was sad. But, it felt like a good time to leave. I always think it’s nice to leave on a high note, and this was definitely in the first soprano range.
Once again, I broke my journey at Asheville. I went to lunch with Sister. We also did some crystal and gemstone shopping. (I always try to get a new stone or two when I’m in Asheville.) Then, back to the road for the last leg of the journey.
All in all, this was a wonderful holiday. I might be tired in body from all the driving, but I’m making up for that in the revitalization that my mind and spirit received from the experience. I feel absolutely invigorated and inspired to start working on projects and experiments. Hooray for travel and friends and family … And acupuncture!
I hope you’ve had a wonderful weekend, too, gentle readers!
On 25 September, I made a decision. It was more a stroke of recognition that burned right through me like a flash of lightning. It was spurred by an innocuous post on a friend’s Facebook page. When I first read this post – about a mild-mannered woman who quietly set the women’s record for fastest Appalachian Trail thru-hike – I simply thought: Hmmm. That’s interesting. Good for her. But, in the way Inspiration often does, that post began to whisper to me at the oddest times … while I was lying in bed at night … as I was doing dishes … while brushing my bunny’s hair. Pretty quickly that whisper turned into a high-volume roar. There is something for you here. Pay attention.
So I did. I paid attention. And suddenly the desire I’d long ago held to hike the Appalachian Trail was rekindled. And this time it felt like a real possibility. It felt like a worthy goal. And on 25 September (2015), I decided to make it a reality.
Now, my mama didn’t raise a dummy. I know that there is MUCH more to this adventure than just deciding to do it. And it will be a long process to get myself to a point where I feel physically, mentally and financially capable of the adventure. But, the process has begun! I’ve been researching and reading about the trail and the experiences of others who have gone before me. I am starting to gather up gear. I’m planning some physical training to prep my body. And I’m incorporating practices like pranayama, meditation and journaling to prep my mind/spirit. I took my first actual, real-life backpacking trip a couple weekends ago with my sister and brother-in-law. My brother-in-law was an Eagle Scout, so he’s an invaluable resource.
We were originally planning an overnight hike on Cold Mountain, but tales of blustery cold weather (even in Summer) urged us to change our locale. Instead we made for Max Patch Bald on the recommendation of a friendly REI employee. We hiked (on the AT!) north from Max Patch around 6 miles. There we found a spot to set up camp, where brother-in-law made a beautiful fire and taught us how to hang a bear bag. (For those of you not in the know, that’s where you put your food in a bag and hang it up in the trees away from trunks and branches to protect it from hungry bears.) We had dinner around the campfire, then tucked into our respective tents for a good night’s rest under the stars. The next morning we awoke with the sun … well, okay, a little after the sun … and re-traced our steps back to Max Patch Bald. Somehow we managed to shave an hour off our time on the return trip. And that included stopping at one of the AT shelters to have lunch. It was an awesome experience. And while I confirmed for myself that I chose my trail name of Tortoise wisely, I also confirmed that I really want to do this. I’m excited about the challenge.
I always feel so at home in the woods. And it was nice to have this first experience with some company as I’m still not super confident in my skills, and am, therefore, a little nervous going it alone. However, in the spirit of getting out of my comfort zone, I hope to plan a solo trip soon. I’m not sure if I’ll get to do it this year or not. The weather will have a hand in that. I don’t have a lot of winter gear. But I figure I’ll be spending a good deal of next year in the woods, getting more comfortable with my Self and my backcountry skills. If you have any suggestions for good places to go in and around North Carolina, or if you’d like to plan a trip with me, give me a shout!
Have any of you hiked the AT? Did you day hike, section hike, flip flop, or thru-hike? Did you white blaze, blue blaze, yellow blaze, or rainbow blaze? Did you love it? I’d love to hear your experiences!
xoxo,
melanie
Post Script: Once again I’m having trouble loading photos. I will do my best to get some as soon as possible. Until then … let your imaginations guide you!
experimentsinbliss 